Book Review: Love and Respect
So, I've started this book. It's been great so far. It's not your typical 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' type. It really goes into a lot of detail about the way men and women think. I wanted to post a few things I thought were interesting, and that I've learned, already, from this book.
1) Pg. 30 Couples Communicate in Code
Example - She says : I have nothing to wear. She means: I have nothing new.
He says: I have nothing to wear. He means: I have nothing clean.
He uses this analogy - women see everything through pink glasses, with pink hearing aids, while men see everything through blue glasses, with blue hearing aids. At the end of one example of an evening gone amiss between one couple, he states "That is why they spent their anniversary evening in separate rooms, miserable, wondering how this whole stupid thing could have happened. (And the reason neither will figure it out is that each blames the other for the whole sorry affair). (Underlined part mine).
As long as we continue to accuse the other, and not learn how to communicate, we'll continue to ride on what he calls the Crazy Cycle.
2) Pg. 35-
Here he talks about Eph. 5, in which Paul tells husbands they must love (agape) their wives, while wives must respect their husbands. This love is unconditional. We love them, even if/when they don't deserve it. At this point he states that the reason why women are not told to love their husbands is because that's what they were created to do. Then he goes to Titus 2:4, where women are told to encourage younger women and love their husbands and children. However, in this case, it's not agape love, but phileo love, or a brotherly kind of love.
"The point is, a young wife is created to agape her husband and children. ultimately, she will never stop unconditionally loving them. But in the daily wear and tear of life, she is in danger of becoming discouraged - so discouraged that she may lack phileo. A kind of impatient unfriendliness can come over her. She may scold and sigh way too much. After all, there is always something or someone who needs correcting. She cares deeply. Her motives are filled with agape, but her methods lack phileo"....."No one doubts her basic mother love, but sometimes they're not so sure she really likes them".
This last part I can relate to. There's no question that we love our husbands and children unconditionally, but sometimes, it's difficult to like them.
More to come....
1) Pg. 30 Couples Communicate in Code
Example - She says : I have nothing to wear. She means: I have nothing new.
He says: I have nothing to wear. He means: I have nothing clean.
He uses this analogy - women see everything through pink glasses, with pink hearing aids, while men see everything through blue glasses, with blue hearing aids. At the end of one example of an evening gone amiss between one couple, he states "That is why they spent their anniversary evening in separate rooms, miserable, wondering how this whole stupid thing could have happened. (And the reason neither will figure it out is that each blames the other for the whole sorry affair). (Underlined part mine).
As long as we continue to accuse the other, and not learn how to communicate, we'll continue to ride on what he calls the Crazy Cycle.
2) Pg. 35-
Here he talks about Eph. 5, in which Paul tells husbands they must love (agape) their wives, while wives must respect their husbands. This love is unconditional. We love them, even if/when they don't deserve it. At this point he states that the reason why women are not told to love their husbands is because that's what they were created to do. Then he goes to Titus 2:4, where women are told to encourage younger women and love their husbands and children. However, in this case, it's not agape love, but phileo love, or a brotherly kind of love.
"The point is, a young wife is created to agape her husband and children. ultimately, she will never stop unconditionally loving them. But in the daily wear and tear of life, she is in danger of becoming discouraged - so discouraged that she may lack phileo. A kind of impatient unfriendliness can come over her. She may scold and sigh way too much. After all, there is always something or someone who needs correcting. She cares deeply. Her motives are filled with agape, but her methods lack phileo"....."No one doubts her basic mother love, but sometimes they're not so sure she really likes them".
This last part I can relate to. There's no question that we love our husbands and children unconditionally, but sometimes, it's difficult to like them.
More to come....
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